I never really thought I could find myself amused about the ongoing saga of a former child star’s downward spiral in which she bares her naughty parts to the world, abuses all sorts of drugs, loses her children and makes one of her dancers look like an evil genius in the process, but Britney Spears has basically helped get me past this backwards line of thinking. I can now laugh at these types of things, because Ms. Spears has made them seem almost commonplace. Indeed, Ms. Spears has also reclaimed the entirety of the paparazzi as her own, leaving no room for the other so-called “trainwrecks” who dotted the Hollywood lenscape in her absence.

Seriously, though can we get a moment of silence for every single career Ms. Spears has destroyed in the past 12 months? After using and abusing former famous-for-being-famous trash like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, Britney has laid waste to every single untalented piece of human waste in the greater L.A. area. What is Paris Hilton up to? What’s up with that chick with the great figure who has a reality TV show on E!? Didn’t Nicole Richie just give birth? Now, I can gladly say, “WHO CARES?”

My favorite part about Britney’s Caesar-esque domination of the tabloids as of late is that she’s going to be keeping it in the family when she picks her successor. Her sister already has a head start on career-killing life decisions, as she’s knocked up out of wedlock and keeping her baby so she can raise it right. The paparazzi could likely not be more pleased.